


The Rat Within The Grain

by CatsoftheApocalypse



Series: The One with the Supernatural Boys [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas is stunned, Comforting Dean Winchester, Dean Needs Love, F/M, sometimes I hate Sam's guts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-16
Updated: 2014-12-16
Packaged: 2018-03-01 19:56:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2785766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatsoftheApocalypse/pseuds/CatsoftheApocalypse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean decides to leave Sam and Cas, but you decide you won't have any of his shit. He'll take you with him, and he'll have some hope, if it's the last thing you see to!</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Rat Within The Grain

**Author's Note:**

> There's smut, so if you're not into that kinda thing, either don't read it at all, or check out the censored version on my DA-Account.
> 
> Also, the main POV is the reader's, but the parts in cursive are told by Dean.

The back of my hand landed on Sam’s cheek, Cas’ mouth fell open, and Sam stared at me in surprise. Dean was already by his car, so I quickly slapped the other side of Sam’s face as well, before running after his brother.  
“Dean! Wait!”  
I made it just in time. As he started the engine I got in the passenger seat.  
“What are you doing here?” he asked in a monotone. “Get out.”  
“That’s not gonna happen, and you know it, so you might just as well start driving.”  
As he did just that, I scrutinized his expression from the side. He looked tired. Crushed. Broken, basically. I could barely look at him without my eyes welling up. After a few hours, he stopped on the curb of a lonely road in the middle of nowhere and got out of the car. I followed suit. I moved over to his side, where he was leaning, his back against the car, staring up at the night sky.  
“F/N, what do you want? Why are you here?” he asked.  
“I’m here because you’re wrong.”  
“How so?”  
“You’re not poison, Dean. On the contrary.”  
“Kevin is dead. It’s my fault. End of story.” he insisted. I moved to stand in front of him and put my hands on his cheeks.  
“Kevin is dead. That’s true, nothing can change that. But it is not your fault. You hear me? Not. Your. Fault. If anything, it’s Metatron’s fault.”  
He only shook his head, refusing to listen to reason.  
“You should go back to the bunker with Sammy and Cas.”  
“No.” I just stated.  
“F/N…”  
“Dean, listen. You know I love Sam like he’s my own brother. Same goes for Cas. But right now, Sam is exactly the version of himself I hate most. Let’s face it, your little brother can occasionally be a pretentious, judgmental, condescending, self-righteous prick. Like, at the moment. I can’t stand him when he’s like that. Just like I can’t stand when you try to take all the blame. For everything.”  
“I’m to blame anyway. Everybody knows.”  
Apparently, I had to slap every Winchester within my reach today. His cheek turned bright red, the outlines of my hand clearly discernible.  
“Don’t you dare ever say that again. Ever.” I snapped.  
“It’s-“  
“Shut up. You don’t get to talk if you’re gonna be like that. You tricked Sam into letting that angel in, that’s true, but it doesn’t make you responsible for what said angel did while in there. If it did, we could just as well blame Sam for not taking control and stopping him. You need to stop this. Sam claims he was at peace with the thought of dying, and staying dead, but how much truth can there be in that if he agreed to letting you save him in the first place? Hell, he stopped the trials so he wouldn’t die! He wanted to live just as much as you wanted him to! He just doesn’t want to admit it because he’s afraid it would make him just as guilty as you think you are.”  
“F/N, I…” he swallowed hard.  
“Dean, just… I don’t know… Let it all out? For once in your life, don’t stuff everything that ever happened into an already overstuffed room and force a chair under the doorknob so it stays shut. Let go, just this once.”  
“How?”  
“Crying is usually a good start.”  
“F/N…”  
“I know you, Dean. I wasn’t here when the trial-stuff went down, I just came back a few hours ago, I know that, and I’m sorry. But I’ve known you long enough to also know full well that you probably only shed one tear when Kevin died. Two, maximum. And let me tell you, it’s not enough. You never cry, yet you have reason to weep. All the fucking time. So do it. I won’t judge.”  
“Promise?”  
I looked at him earnestly, and he suddenly wrapped his arms around me, burying his face in the crook of my neck. One of my hands went to stroking his hair, the other resting softly on his back, as the strongest man I knew cried into my shoulder.

It took a long time before his tears dried up, and even when they did, he still clung to me, and I kept holding him. As far as I was concerned, we had all the time in the world, and I was determined to fix him up as much as I could. I knew it probably wouldn’t do much good, he had just been through too much, but I had to try.  
I turned my head to kiss his temple.  
“Any better?” I asked.  
“Not really.” he mumbled, lifting his head slightly, but keeping his arms around me. “But less pressing. Everything’s still shit, but I don’t feel like I’ll explode any second anymore.”  
“That’s good.”  
“Thank you.” he whispered.  
“nothing to thank me for.” His hold on me had weakened, so I pulled back a little, both my hands on the sides of his neck. “I’m here for you. Any time. You should know that. Now what do you say we get some grub somewhere and then find ourselves a place to crash?”

We entered the motel room, only to find the clerk had basically lied to us.  
“King-size, my ass.” Dean cursed. “That’s a double at best.”  
“There’s nothing for it, Dean. It’s the last room, and you really need some shut-eye, as do I. We can’t keep driving.”  
“Fine.” he grumbled. “I’ll sleep on the floor then.”  
“You will do no such thing.”  
“I sure as hell won’t let you sleep on the floor.” He shot me a glare.  
“That’s not what I was suggesting.”  
“But we can’t-“ he interrupted himself.  
“Share a bed? Why not? I’m not asking you to make sweet, sweet love to me. Dean, I practically forced you to let out your feelings earlier, and you cried on my shoulder for nearly an hour. What makes you think I wouldn’t share a bed with you?”  
He turned beet red at my mention of sex, but paled when I brought up the events of earlier tonight. Then he swallowed.  
“Are you sure you’re alright with this?”  
“Certainly.”  
I went to the bathroom to get ready, while Dean did so in the main room. As I returned, he was already under the covers, as far on the right side of the bed as possible, eyes closed. I smiled to myself. For a guy who had gotten around with women as much as he had, he could be so adorably awkward about ordinary things, it was heartwarming. I snuggled up in between the sheets, listening to his deep, even breathing. He was already asleep.  
Just when I started to drift off, Dean began to shake next to me, uttering sounds of denial, and I was forced back into consciousness. I turned my head so I could see him, and found he lay on his side, facing me, brows furrowed and jaw clenched. His right hand clawed into the pillow, his left into the sheets.  
“Dean.” I whispered, reaching up to stroke his cheek. He started at my touch, but did not wake. I kept up the tentative movement, and slowly, his face started to relax. When his shaking had seized, I wrapped both my hands around his right, which was still balled up into a fist on the pillow. Kissing each of his knuckles, I slowly closed my eyes, again drifting off towards Dreamland.

 _I woke with a start, the sun burning through the motel room’s curtains. When I opened my eyes, I found myself face to face with F/N, our noses just inches apart. Her small hands were locked around my right, holding it close to her chest. Her lashes were fanned out on her cheeks, her lips slightly parted. At the sight of her, everything in me was screaming, telling me to go ahead and kiss her. A craving I had frequently had, ever since meeting her. But I knew I was no good for her, that she would never want me that way. Let alone want me to want her. Still, I leaned in and lightly brushed my lips against hers. I may have wanted to be wanted by her, but I knew that her compassion was all I would get, along with this one, stolen kiss._  
_As I pulled back, her lids began to flutter, and her eyes opened._  
_“G’morning.” she mumbled, rubbing sleep from her eyes after taking her hands away from mine._  
_“Morning.” I returned the greeting. “Why don’t you keep waking up, and I’ll be right back?”_  
_She nodded, and I disappeared into the bathroom._

Had that been the remnants of a dream, or a hallucination, or had Dean actually just kissed me? No, I decided, shaking my head for clarity, I must’ve imagined it. Or it was wishful thinking.  
Just because I wanted him to want me didn’t mean he did. He had enough on his plate as it was, he didn’t need a lovesick girl too. I would do my best to help him, and that was all that would ever be between us.  
The bathroom door opened, and Dean walked over to stand at the foot of the bed.  
“So…” he said. Was he blushing?  
“So?” I sat up.  
“What are we gonna do now? Do you want me to drop you off somewhere, or will you stay?”  
“Well, you have work to do, and I’d love to help you, if you let me.”  
“You sure?”  
I nodded, so we got ourselves ready for the day, for trying to unravel this whole mess.

We entered the bar, both of us frowning at the lack of results today’s work had yielded. We found ourselves a booth and Dean went to get us each a beer and a shot of… anything, really. While he was gone, a melody I had been thinking of every now and then for the past few months came into my head, so I let my hands wander up and down the edge of the table as if it alternated between black and white, my eyes closed.  
“I didn’t know you played.” Dean’s voice sounded from the other side of the table. He was just trying to keep his balance and avoid spills as he set our drinks down on the stained wood.  
“What?” I asked, having opened my eyes again.  
“I may be broken, but I’m not entirely uneducated. I know what someone playing the piano looks like. Granted, you were playing a sticky table, but still, the concept applies.” he elaborated.  
A faint smile stole onto my lips.  
I only play very little. In fact, I haven’t played at all in years. How could I? I’m in the wrong business for indulging in artistic passions.”  
“So what? You just stopped?”  
I shrugged.  
“I’d love to hear you play for real.”  
At this, a laugh crawled out of my throat. His face fell.  
“Wait-“ I said. “-are you serious?”  
“Of course. It seems to be something you really enjoy. I’d like to witness that. We don’t get to just pretend there’s nothing wrong often enough.”  
I nodded in agreement and we simultaneously downed our shots. Suddenly, an idea popped into my head and I grabbed my beer and turned towards the bar.  
“Where are you going?” Dean asked. I just looked at him over my shoulder and winked.  
The barkeeper gave me his full attention as I approached.  
“What can I get you, pretty lady?” he asked, and I gave him a sweet smile.  
“Do you know any place close by that has a piano? I’d like to show my friend something.” I explained.  
“Well… we have a room down the hall we use for private parties. There’s a piano in there…”  
“Really? Do you think we could…” I looked at him pleadingly, pulling out my best puppy eyes. He sighed and put down the dishtowel in his hand, turning to his colleague.  
“Will you manage for a moment? I’ll be right back.”  
The other guy nodded, and I followed him, after signaling for Dean to come with us.

 _“Where are we going?” I asked, trailing after F/N down a dusty hall full of beer crates._  
_“Wait and see.” was her only answer._  
_The barkeeper stopped at a door and unlocked it before starting to make his way back._  
_“Let me know when you’re done so I can lock back up.” he told F/N, and she nodded._  
_“Thanks a million.” she said, then turning to me as he left. “Come on.”_  
_She opened the door, and I followed her into the room as she found the light switch on the wall next to it. The room lit up. There was hardly any furniture. A few chairs, one table – and a piano._  
_“That’s what this is about?” I asked, the door falling shut behind us._  
_“You said you wanted to hear me play. Have a seat.” She pointed to a chair at the table, not far from the instrument, while sitting down at the piano herself, her back to me._  
_Experimenting and testing, she put her fingers to a few keys. After a minute, I heard her take a deep breath before she started to play in earnest. I closed my eyes, just enjoying the soft notes floating through the cold air around us, pretending there was nothing wrong, as I said earlier. I knew her performance wasn’t perfect, but it was passionate._  
_“Did you write that yourself?” I asked when she ended._  
_“Yeah, kinda. I told you, I haven’t played in years. This was just in my head…”_  
_“It was nice.”_  
_She scoffed._  
_“It was mediocre at best.”_  
_“Why would you say that?”_  
_“It’s true? I’m sure you noticed it sounded off quite a few times. In order to get better, I would need regular practice. And constant access to a piano. But seeing as that’s not going to happen, I guess I’ll just have to keep playing on the edges of sticky tables in dubious bars. I can live with that.” she concluded._  
_I frowned._  
_“What?”_  
_“Nothing… Just… Would you play something else? Please?”_  
_She looked at me, surprised, before shrugging and turning back towards the instrument. I sort of got lost in the melody again, so when the last note rang out, she had to address me several times before I responded._  
_“Dean? Hey, earth to Winchester! You okay? Dean?”_  
_I shook my head to order my thoughts._  
_“Yeah, sure.” I replied. She sighed in relief._  
_“Good. I think we should go. Let the barkeeper lock up. Maybe get back to the motel. Get some more sleep, you know.”_  
_“Guess you’re right.” I conceded, and we headed for the exit. F/N stopped on our way out to let the barkeeper know we were leaving and thank him._

We went back to our motel room in silence. Dean entered first, and I quietly closed the door behind us. He was behaving oddly. More so than could be expected under the circumstances. In fact, he hadn’t said a word on our way back.  
“Dean?” I asked.  
“Yeah?”  
“What is it?”  
“What’s what?”  
“You have something to say. Just spit it out.”  
“I… I think you should go back.” he said, almost to low for me to hear.  
“Back? To the bar?”  
“No. To the bunker. To Sam and Cas. Did you know there’s a music room in there? Guess the Men of Letters liked to entertain every now and then. You could play the piano every day. You could be safe. comparatively.” He was rambling.  
“Dean…” I tried to cut in.  
“You could be with Sam.”  
“What?” I sputtered. “Why would I be with Sam?”  
“He fancies you. I know he does.”  
“Dean, what’s wrong with you? What brought this on? We agreed this morning. I’ll stay with you. Do what I can to help you.”  
“I don’t want you to. You’re of no use to me here. You’ll only get in the way. You have to go.”  
I staggered back a few steps, feeling as if he had punched me in the gut. He had turned around while he spoke, and for a while I was just staring at him, my mouth hanging open in shock. My eyes were focused on his lips. Lips I hadn’t thought were capable of hurting me so much with the words they uttered. My own lips started to tremble, and my eyes began to water.

_She just stood there,. looking at me. On our way back I had realized again that, in how much danger she was everyday as a hunter anyway, staying with me, there would be more danger still. She would be better of close to Cas. He was fond of her. He’d look after her. And Sam already worshipped the ground she walked on. He’d treat her as she deserved. Yet, even as my rational side wanted her as safe and happy as possible, the other part of me was begging for her to see through me, and know how much I really wanted her to stay. I closed my eyes, waiting for the inevitable sound of the door falling into its lock._

His eyes fluttered shut, just as I lifted mine from his lips. And there it was. I knew something was off about this, I had just been too hurt to figure it out. But as, even through the liquid veiling my own eyes, I saw a single tear run down his cheek, it clicked. I slowly walked up to him, and he started when I laid my hands on his chest.  
“I can tell you’re lying. You know that?” I whispered.  
He just wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. Lowering his head, he tried to hide his face in my hair. But the part of me that loved him had other ideas. I turned my head and softly touched my lips to his. His eyes shot open and he pulled back.  
“What… F/N?”  
“Sorry, I couldn’t stop myself. It won’t happen again.” I tried to turn and walk away, but his hold on me only tightened.  
“No. Don’t.” he whispered into my ear. “I want it to happen again. It’s one of the things I want most.” And then he kissed me. My lips had barely touched his before, just a breath of a kiss, but this was different. There was a hunger behind the way his mouth moved against mine, a strange kind of fervor that set a bright flame alight in the pit of my stomach. He nibbled slightly on my bottom lip and I gasped, allowing our tongues to mingle, the flavor of cheap American beer and Bourbon prominent on his. I pulled back, drawing in some much-needed oxygen.  
“I don’t understand.” I said.  
“What’s not to understand?”  
“What’s – Dean, are you… What are you trying to say? Why are you kissing me like that? What does this mean?” I was so confused, my tongue tripped over nearly every word.  
It means that I want you. Not your body. Well, not only your body. I mean – look at you. You’re gorgeous, F/N. But that’s beside the point. I want all of you. I want you, and I want…” he cut himself off, hesitating.  
I transferred one of my hands to his cheek, the other still remaining on his chest.  
“You want what?” I asked softly.  
“I… I want to be wanted by you. I just never said anything, because what I wouldn’t want is for you to want to be wanted by me. I’d only break you. You wouldn’t want to be with me that way.” He looked to the side.  
I kissed the tip of his nose before I spoke.  
“That’s for me to decide, don’t you think?”  
“What are you saying?”  
“Dean, my heart has been crying out for you whenever I wasn’t close to you. Ever since we met. There’s nobody in this world I want to be with more than you.”  
“Are you serious?” he asked.  
“As serious as Cas wondering why the pizza man is slapping the babysitter’s rear.” I tried to alleviate the situation a bit and he chuckled at my comparison.  
He pulled me closer still, my body now pressed flush against his, and the fire of another kiss sent heat coursing through both our bodies. Dean was hesitant, I could feel it, but I wasn’t about to let him get away that easily. My hands, after pushing his jacket off his shoulders, causing it to land on the floor with a thud, began to roam his upper body. I felt every crevice, every muscle, even some of the larger scars and let my fingers trace them again and again. My own jacket soon joined his on the floor and one of his hands found its place at my neck as the other started tracing up and down my spine repeatedly, with enough pressure to feel every single vertebra, yet not enough to be painful. I could feel dedication in every single touch of his. Slowly, reverently, I began to unbutton his shirt. My lips moved from his to leave small, feathery kisses along his jaw line and down his neck, my fingers tracing every bit of skin that was revealed before moving on to the next button. As I reached the last one, my mouth had found its way to the little hollow at the base of his throat, where I left a soft kiss, then trailing my tongue over the skin. Lastly, I blew a whisper of air over the moisture I had left there, and he shivered.  
“F/N!” my name fell from his lips in a groan.  
“Yes?” I asked innocently.  
We were both breathing heavily, our long withheld desires finally revealed.  
“You want to do this?” Dean asked. “Now? I don’t want to push you. We could… I don’t know… We could wait, I guess.”  
“Wait? Hmm…” I mused, while he watched me expectantly. My index finger wandered down the trail of hair that disappeared in his jeans, barely touching, before I grabbed his belt buckle and jerked his hips toward me. “I don’t think so.” A Cheshire grin spread over my face and he brought his mouth to mine.  
“You’re amazing.” he breathed.  
“So are you.”  
He kissed me with such devotion that it took my breath away. His fingertips now traced the small strip of exposed skin between my jeans and shirt, before sneaking under the purple fabric of the top. He slowly pushed it up and I raised my arms so he could strip me of it. It fell uselessly from his hands, one of which went back to tracing my spine. Our lips reconnected and I felt the firm muscles of his chest pressed against mine. I began moving backwards in the general direction of the bed, pulling him with me, my hand again maintaining a firm grip on his belt. As my legs hit the edge of the bed, I tumbled backwards, Dean’s body covering mine, supporting most of his weight with his elbows. I unbuckled his belt, and then fumbled with the button beneath it for a moment before managing to open it. His lips left mine and he found the sweet spot in the crook of my neck. Just as I pulled down the zipper of his pants, he gave the sensitive skin a little nibble, then licking over it, soothing the slight sting of pleasurable pain.  
“Dean!” I exclaimed.  
He just hummed in satisfaction about the way my body reacted to his ministrations. In retaliation, I slid my hand beneath the denim of his jeans and began stroking along his hard length through the cotton of his boxers. He rewarded me wit a pleased groan, then turning us around so he lay on his back and I straddled him. I removed my hand and ground the center of my own desire against his instead. The intense friction has him sucking in a sharp breath and me crying out in pleasure. Yet it wasn’t enough. I wanted to see more of him, feel more. I put my hands around his neck and pulled him up into a kiss. His open shirt fell from his shoulders and I impatiently shoved it off the bed, pushing Dean back down. Then I let my lips wander down his neck, repeating my earlier action at the hollow of his throat. I went on to kissing his chest and treating it in a similar manner. Up this close, when I wasn’t desperately trying to patch him up after a hunt resulted in injury, I was completely at leisure to take all the time I wanted, analyze every crevice, caress every scar, find every cluster of freckles. He was beautiful, and I worshipped him accordingly. His breathing sped up more and more, his heart racing under my lips as my tongue traced the outlines of his tattoo. He had a tight grasp on my hips, squeezing my flesh in time with the ticking of the clock on the wall.  
“F/N, do you know what you’re doing to me?” he asked huskily.  
“I’m taking you in. You said I was gorgeous to you, but have you looked into the mirror? Ever? I mean, you’re a good-looking guy, but all that you’ve been through, your scars. It adds. Gives your looks character. This-“ My fingertips trailed a rather long scar on his lower ribs to the right. “-and this-“ A bullet-wound scar on his biceps. “-and this.” I pulled his left hand from my hip, kissing the palm which showed scars from God knew how many rituals, summonings and tests. “I’m just analyzing it all.” he looked at me in wonder. “Now tell me, why are we still wearing pants?”  
“Because you’re on top and I can’t move my legs, sweetie.”  
“That can be helped. Do you mind?”  
“Not at all.” he grinned.  
I scrambled backwards, pulling his jeans off him and standing for a moment to remove my own. As I crawled back onto the bed, he suddenly caught my arms and flipped us over once again. Dean was now back on top, and I loved every second of it. His luscious lips attached to my neck, kissing, sucking, leaving marks on their journey down to the swell of my breasts. The tip of his tongue traced the black lace and I arched my back so his hand could snake beneath me more easily, where he unclasped my bra, proceeding to drag the strap of my right shoulder with his teeth, the left with the same hand, raking his nails down my skin, making me gasp as pleasure mingled tantalizingly with pain. It didn’t hurt much, it just enhanced every other sensation. My bra hit the closed curtains as he carelessly threw it behind him, his attention remaining on my chest. His mouth surrounded one of my nipples, sucking, nibbling, teasing me relentlessly, the other breast covered with his warm, calloused hand, stroking and kneading the tender flesh softly. Soon enough I was squirming beneath him, writhing with need and moaning in delight. Not seeing any other option, my hands left their place on his firm back, one moving to touch myself through the thin fabric of my panties, the other palming his desire through the cotton he still wore to get back at him for his teasing. A groan erupted from his throat, the vibration transferred directly through my chest.  
“Dean…” I wailed. Enough with the foreplay already. I can’t take this anymore.” I paused, hardly being able to breathe as he softly bit down on my nipple. I tangled my hands into his hair, pulling him away from my chest and into a scorching, needy kiss. When we broke apart, I scowled at him. “I said enough. I need you. Now.”  
He gave me a sly grin, pressing his hard, strong desire to my core, making me gasp and teasing me even more, before scooting down my body to practically rip my panties off me. He thoroughly looked me over, licking his lips as his eyes wandered up and down my body, returning to the spot between my thighs.  
“Dean…” I cautioned him. I knew what he was thinking about. “Don’t you dare. Not now.”  
He pouted, then quickly disposing of his boxers and lowering his frame back on top of mine. His tip nudged between my lower lips, stimulating the delicate bundle of nerves that was hidden there, and I saw stars. Involuntarily, my hips bucked upwards as I gave an animalistic groan, taking him in part of the way. Now it was his turn to gasp.  
Dean lowered his lips to mine in yet another fiery kiss as I wrapped my arms around his torso and my legs around his hips, pulling him closer and closer as he sank into me completely. A cry of pure delight erupted from deep within me, getting lost in the depths of the still enduring kiss, while he gave me a moment to adjust to this new level of physical contact.  
When he started moving, it felt like my veins were set aflame. every fiber of my being was for him. While my legs stayed locked in place, I seemed to loose every ability to control my arms, which fell from his back helplessly. He pounded into me with precision, hitting that special spot nearly every time, and I broke away from his lips to sink my teeth into his shoulder, not breaking skin, in order to prevent my waking the people in the next room. My hands balled into fists, crumpling the sheets beyond hope of saving, and Dean threw his head back, moaning my name in pleasure.  
The pace of his thrusts increased slowly but surely as I, too, began to feel the first signs of my orgasm drawing near. Dean brought his mouth back to my body, his teeth grazing the delicate skin in the crook of my neck, as my fingertips and toes began to tingle and my stomach to tighten. The sensation spread, all the way through my arms and legs, across my chest and the rest of my body, converging in the pit of my stomach all too soon, as I thought. Dean’s pace had sped up even more. Little spots of light began to dance across my field of vision, and his thrusts were nearly indistinguishable by now. Just as our lips connected once more, something snapped and brought me down hard around him. I felt Dean’s release within me, my own body feeling as if I was being catapulted up high and then experiencing the rush of racing back towards the ground. The lights in my sight were blinding now. Everything else faded to black and I simply gave myself over to the waves washing over me, only faintly aware of how loud we ended up being, not caring much for the neighbors anymore.

When we both came back to, Dean kissed me again before collapsing next to me. I rolled onto my side, resting my head on his arm and my own arm across his chest while he pulled the duvet to cover our sweaty, panting, but sated bodies.  
“I thought you weren’t gonna ask me to make love to you.” he suddenly said. I could practically hear the cocky grin accompanying his words.  
“Technically, you asked.” I pointed out, poking his stomach, and he chuckled.  
“Guess so. In any case, it was amazing.”  
“Hmm. So is Spider-Man.” I really wasn’t one for post-coital praises, no matter how much truth there was in them. Dean just laughed at my comment.  
“I wouldn’t have done that just now to Peter Parker, though.”  
“Really???” I asked, faking shock. “I would have.”  
He nudged me with his elbow. After a few minutes had passed, he quietly spoke again.  
“I love you, F/N.”  
I really wanted to tell him I felt the same, because I did, but my lips just wouldn’t move. I hadn’t expected those words from him yet. At my continued silence, he must’ve thought I had fallen asleep, since he kissed my forehead and whispered a soft “Good night.” A minute later, I spoke.  
“Dean?”  
He started, surprised I was still awake after all.  
“Yeah?”  
“I love you too.”  
We didn’t say anything else that night. I had a strong sense that he finally knew in his heart that I wouldn’t leave him. That I would stand by him. That we would get through all this. Together.

**Author's Note:**

> Listening to Damien Rice's "The Rat Within The Grain" is highly recommended. In fact, listen to all of his music...


End file.
